*Have you ever met the couple that always argues, fights, bickers, and then complain about their relationship?
*Do they show more contempt for each other than two rival gangs?
*Do they appear to be polar opposites and never seem to agree on anything?
*Do they always make you think "What the fuck?? Why are they together??"
*Do you let them squeak by because your relationship is similar to theirs?
*Why are these couples together? Why do they think it will work?
I'll tell you why.. These guys think that they're the exception to the rule.. They think that somehow, or some way they're different from everyone else. And THAT type of thinking will ultimately lead to wasting your entire life away. I will admit that I wasted 7 years because I held onto something that should have ended 6 years earlier than it took place.
Here are a few myths and quotes that must be crushed immediately!!
*Opposites Attract*
Boy, has this concept been taken out of context. This is the biggest bullshit I've ever heard. People will use this phrase to death to justify why they took a chance in a relationship. But trust me, IT IS BULLSHIT!
If you're clean and she's a slob, it won't work! If she wants kids and you don't, it won't work! If you're allergic to cats and she has 3 of them, it won't work! If she wants to live on the countryside with a beautiful view of the lake and you want to live on the top floor of a Manhattan penthouse, it won't work! Your common goals and outlook on life must be consistent with each other, or it won't work!
Now.. one might wonder.. "What did they mean, when they said 'Opposites Attract'?"
Ok.. Well, this rule does work, when it is used in the right context..
For Example:
*If you're an extrovert and she's an introvert, you can very well balance each other out. One may like to talk, and the other one may love to listen.
*If one loves the sound of rock music and the other likes the sound of jazz.. You may be able to find some harmony in between.
*If one loves to read and the other one loves TV, she can read with the light on while he dozes off to Conan O'brien. And in the morning they can discuss their amusement of each thing they've learned from their source of entertainment.
These things can make the relationship more interesting, because you're constantly learning things about each other, and realize, these opposite things are what makes the person so beautiful in your eyes.
But hot topics like, living in the city or the suburbs, the cleanliness of the house, wanting children or not, spending or saving; these are the exact subjects people bicker about every single day until it rolls on top of another nuisance and another... and another.. until it just turns into a pile of dirty laundry that you threw on the backburner for a year because you still haven't agreed on anything. Or maybe you did agree on something, but you sacrificed your own happiness in order to please your significant other.. (Which will end up haunting you later anyway)
It is a romanticized idea to think that you're the actual couple who can get through this mess.. If you're that couple that everyone thinks should split.. DO IT!! Do yourself and the other person a favor and SPLIT THE FUCK UP!! He/She won't agree with you at first, but if they're fairly level-headed, they will see that it happened for the best later on... If they never realize it should have ended, then they're probably psychotic and have no self-esteem.. Which you'd wanna get rid of immediately anyway...
If you ever question why you're so unhappy and all the other couples are happy, then you really need to SPLIT THE FUCK UP! Because, most couples are pretty fucked up, and for you to think yours is the worst, then he/she must be really making your life miserable...
Now, if you choose to hold onto this miserable thing that you call a "relationship", then be ready to accept the consequences. Here are the following scenarios:
1. You will cheat on her.
2. She will cheat on you.
3. You will leave her for another woman.
4. She will leave you for another man.
5. She will leave you for another woman.
6. He will become a raging alcoholic and beat you.
7. She will become a raging coke addict and cut off your dick.
Ok ok... I was just being a smart ass towards the last few but yeah.. As I was saying...
8. You will both end up saying things to each other that shouldn't be said.. And you will enter a verbally or physically abusive relationship..
Now for my next point... You might ask....
"How do I know if I fit this criteria? And where do I seek advice?"
***ASK RELIABLE FRIENDS*** I EMPHASIZE "RELIABLE"!!!!
*DO NOT ask a friend who is a pussy pushover and always ends up getting the shaft in relationships. He/she will tell you to take the abuse because they think their own relationship is working because they never stand up for themselves.
*DO NOT ask a friend who is in a bad relationship at the moment. There's a reason why they're still in a bad relationship.
*DO NOT ask a friend who constantly cheats on their significant other. He/she will just encourage you to look elsewhere to fulfill your needs.
*DO NOT ask a possessive, jealous, paranoid jackass/bitch. He/she will tell you to put this person in check and to show that person who is boss... Which only develops a bigger power struggle.
*DO NOT ask a friend who always ends up getting hurt. He/she is a hopeless romantic who thinks that some day their asshole/bitch cheating significant other will change one day. They're delusional and pathetic.
YES! Ask your level-headed, rational friend who looks at things in a practical and realistic manner. You may only have one of these friends.. But look long and hard before you pick this person.. Because ultimately, it is only their opinion that might remotely make any sense at all..
YES! Ask your friend who is in a long term, happy relationship. Ask him/her what is it about the other person that makes them so damn happy? You'll be surprised at how empty your own relationship is. (Avoid asking brand new couples.. as they are still experiencing the Honeymoon phase..)
YES! Ask your friend who has never bull-shitted you! He/she has always told you how it is... And if this person has been telling you for a while that you're with the wrong person.. Maybe it's time that you listen...
In closing...
Life is too damn short to be with the wrong person... And when you cut yourself short by thinking that there isn't someone else that can make you happier or that you don't deserve happiness.. You're cutting yourself short of many joys in life... It doesn't make sense that he used to say sweet things to you and now he can barely cough up a decent compliment.. It doesn't make sense that she used to fix herself up just to impress you and now she doesn't even wanna leave the house because she doesn't wanna get out of her sweats... It doesn't make sense that you two were once madly in love and now you can barely stand to see each other in the morning... None of this makes sense.. The only thing that makes sense is.. YOU DON'T DESERVE THIS SHIT!! NEITHER ONE OF YOU DO.... And it's time to end it...
Please don't get it twisted. All relationships have tiny, petty arguments and we should all be open to compromise. But if there's a constant failure in compromise. And a constant need to compromise.. Then there's something missing in this equation... People say silly shit like "Nobody said it was going to be easy", but don't listen to those dumb asses.. my answer to that is "But it shouldn't be this fucking hard either"...
So, make a choice, folks.. And I encourage you to learn from your own previous mistakes in relationships.. If there's one consistent thing that all your partners have complained about.. It's time to consider correcting whatever it is that's causing the same complaints.. You can't fix the last fuck up.. But you can certainly prevent the next one from happening.. And also.. Remember the things that pissed you off the most about the previous person.. And remember to NEVER go with another person with the same personality flaws...
Nothing good comes out of staying in a bad relationship... EVER!! And WAKE THE FUCK UP!! You're not special! Your relationship is not special! AND YOU!! YOU!! YOU!! YOU ARE NOT THE FUCKING EXCEPTION TO THE RULE!!
-Observing You
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