Yes, you are fat.

After being on so many websites, social networks, and forums, you start to get a clear understanding of what most guys are like. Whenever I see a somewhat thick, yet very attractive female who mentions that she wants to lose a few pounds, some idiot with no balls has to tell her, "Oh no, you're perfect, I hate stick figures, stay the way you are". The reason why our women are getting so fucking fat these days is because stupid ass guys are not being honest. Now, there are some thin girls who really don't need to lose weight. But that's because they are THIN!! We shouldn't be telling a girl who is teeter tottering with 10-15 extra pounds that she's "Perfect". These fucking idiot pricks think that it's going to get them brownie points or a piece of ass. Delusional fucks.

I don't know if these assholes are doing the math. If they are "Perfect" now, if they gain even 5-10 lbs, they're going to look overweight. Unless they're underweight or really fit, we should not encourage them to eat whatever they want and not exercise. The fact of the matter is, life is eventually going to take its toll, and these girls will GAIN weight! But if they try to maintain a certain weight and stay thin, lean or fit, they will earn the freedom to have a little extra room to gain later on down the line, which WILL inevitably happen. But these sex-driven assholes are just complimenting the thickness and lovely lady lumps that are only fun to look at while they're exactly the way they are currently. But a girl that is perfectly thick will end up being perfectly FAT if they gain the slightest bit of weight.

If a girl says she want to lose a few extra pounds because she has a bit of body fat, go along with it and encourage her! Tell her that "It's nothing, you can lose that in no time with the right exercise and diet!" This is a great thing for us men to do! Level with our women, support them when they want to diet! DO NOT encourage being a little thick, because THICKNESS BUILDS ON TOP OF THICKNESS!! And then what do you get??? Yeah... You KNOW what you get!! And if you assholes encourage this, then you better not fucking complain when she becomes a huge heifer!!

Some may think this sounds superficial and shallow, but FUCK what others think. This is the truth! And some people just need to hear it for once! Women need great moral support but they also need honesty and sincerity in every sense. Men need to quit thinking with their dicks. Thickness translates to hot, shaking tits and asses.. I understand, I've watched porn and I know what it looks like. And I must admit.. It is sorta hot. Really. A hot, thick girl, with a pretty face can do wonders to a man's penis, but in all honesty, if any of these girls got a bit thicker, they'd be entering the danger zone... There's a VERY FINE LINE between Thick and FAT!! That's the dangerous part of it. Now.. Mind you, it's a completely different story when guys like BBW (Big Beautiful Women), that's a fetish. But for men who just prefer their women thick for the sake of tits and ass grabbing sex, don't encourage them to gain more weight! Damn it!

Most women with naturally large breasts and/or ass normally still have those curves when they lose the weight. Maybe not to the extremity you might be used to, but they'll still retain their natural curves. So you're not actually sacrificing much if they stay on the thin/lean side. If they do stay on the thin/lean side, and they go through a period of weight gain, they still have that 5-10 lb leeway without turning into a FAT person. Then they will become what you consider "Thick". And when they feel up to it, they can lose that weight again. A THICK girl does not have that 5-10 lb leeway! So don't let her believe that she does! You asshole pricks make me so sick, every time I see a video of a girl who looks somewhat thick and wants to lose weight, some jack ass has to say something stupid like "You're perfect! I like your curves!" You dumb shit! While you're sitting there, jacking off to her lovely lady lumps, she's looking at her muffin top! WITH GOOD REASON! Everybody should be within a decent body fat percentage. And love handles aren't helping anything!

Now, this is NOT a double standard! If the guy is out of shape or overweight, he has no fucking room to talk at all! He shouldn't even express an opinion because if his body looks like shit, he has no say on what a woman's body should look like. So fellas, if you're sitting there on your fat ass, watching Sport Center, get your ass up and go for a freakin jog or some shit. This country is full of out of shape assholes who love watching in-shape athletes on TV. Take off your fucking jersey because you're a disgrace to the athlete you're supporting! I'm so sick of these ex-jocks and idiots who sit on their couches and criticize what's "HOT OR NOT" when it comes to females. These hypocrite asswipes watch Spike Tv and Manswers all day and think it's hot to check out cheerleaders and make grunting noises at sports bars to girls who are clearly out of their league. These guys need to seriously fuck off as well! And some of them have the nerve to call their wives fat! If you're one of these guys, FUCK YOU!! Your wife deserves better, especially if she's hot! I can't tell you how many times I've seen some dime pieces with pot belly losers!

In the end, I think all we need to do is, be honest. And encourage a healthy lifestyle. Show support if someone wants to shed a couple pounds rather than feeding them with a bunch of bullshit about how they're "Fine the way they are". If they're thin, leave it be, and let them know they're already fine and all they need to do is maintain it with good food and exercise! There is nothing wrong with that! I'm so sick of seeing fat chicks, and now I see that the main problem are the stupid men who are encouraging women to leave the diet and exercise behind! FUCK YOU! You're making this country turn into a pig sty!! If you want to roll around with the pigs, be my guest! But don't you EVER complain about it when they go from thick and juicy to morbidly obese, sweat rolls and nasty! This could have been prevented if you were just honest!

That is all. And if you were offended by this, you obviously missed the bigger picture. Obesity not only constitutes to physical unattractive qualities but it also leads to diabetes, heart disease and other major health problems. I don't think anyone should have to look like a Playmate or super model, but to have a fairly healthy weight is absolutely detrimental to our well-being whether you agree with it or not. And if you're still offended, FUCK OFF, and go find another blog where people lie to you all the time, while secretly they think the same exact thing when they see obesity in the flesh.

-Observing You

Dancing Alone

Funny thing happened today.. I went to Subway and there was like 30 Asian foreigners there.. I didn't know Asian FOBs (Fresh Off the Boat) were so into American sub sandwiches.. So I'm in waiting in line with about 4 Chinese foreigners in front of me, along with 3 Japanese female exchange students.. Every member of each party is limited in their abilities to speak English.. So it's taking a while to place their orders.. There's a thick red headed white girl with her hair pulled back and her lips pierced taking all their orders.. She has this look of frustration on her face every time she takes an order.. She's describing the sizes of the sandwiches with her hands.. She puts them closer together when describing a small and spreading them wider apart when describing a large sandwich, and then proceeding to point at the pictures to ask what bread they want.. And then she talks really loud to get her words across.. I don't know why people always do this.. Their ability to understand English may be impaired, but I'm sure their hearing is perfectly intact.. Speaking slower might help, but louder?? So yeah.. I get to the front.. (Mind you, I'm Asian-American) And she starts to speak really loud and uses her made-up sign language to describe the sizes to me.. And I answer back "Yeah.. I'd like a 12 inch Cold Cut Combo on Honey Oat and make that a meal with the chips and a Diet Coke". Her reaction was half stupid and half relieved.. It was sorta funny... The next person comes to the front of the line and this time she speaks normal to him, and he looks confused.. And her look of contempt ensues as she starts her process all over again..

The Subway I went to was in the middle of a busy outlet mall near where I live... So far I've lived in California for about 4 months straight... And today is President's Day.. A very busy day for shopping centers out here.. You should have seen all the mark-downs today.. No wonder everybody from Chinatown and J-Town showed up..

When I left Subway, I had to tell a friend about the funny incident that took place. So I called up my buddy Gym (Not his real name, but there's a funny story behind that). So Gym and I exchanged a few laughs. He tells me that he's looking for suspenders or a new belt and I gather the details on what type of belt/suspenders he's looking for and then we hang up. I put in my headphones and start walking around. As I'm walking throughout the outdoor shopping center on a partially beautiful sunny day.. I realize something.. I'm alone.. So alone.. And I'm not even saying this in a bad way..

You see.. For the last 3 years I've been single and although I lived in a town for most of those years with several friends, I chose to be alone most of the time.. I ate alone, I drank coffee alone.. And I've observed every person around me alone.. It's incredible how attentive you are to your surroundings when you're all by yourself.. You notice the weather, the air, the traffic, the way people move, the way people walk, how people interact with one another.. The brand new couple that hold each others' hand like they want to build a future.. And the old couple who do the same because they don't want to let go of the past they built together.. I noticed children chasing each other like nothing else existed except for their laughter and their non-sensical eruption of energy... I noticed an old man sitting upright, asleep on a bench with a bag from Van's wrapped around his wrists, most likely holding merchandise for his grandchildren. As I wandered into the stores.. I kept noticing little details... It was wonderful... As much dirt as we see on TV and the News these days.. The one thing I noticed is that there's a lot more beauty in this world than there is shit... No matter what they tell you..

I continued to walk.. The music in my ears made me want to dance on every corner like nobody was watching.. Sounds corny as shit, right?? But being alone all these years has taught me that there's no shame in it.. Spectating is something you can learn to appreciate if you let your heart and mind absorb what this world has to offer.. Don't get me wrong.. I'm going through such a rough patch right now and sometimes being alone can be the hardest thing in the world because you start to live in your mind.. And that can be a scary thing when things are not going your way.. But the moment I get out and see the rest of the world.. It makes me believe in things again.. The ability for people to care and love one another.. And I can relate to every moment that I see.. The soft kiss on the forehead from a man to a woman.. The father picking up his son.. And tossing him up in the air.. The uncontrollable laughter amongst a group of friends... And the first bite of a great tasting sandwich... These are experiences that are somewhat far and few as of late.. But I grow to appreciate these things as they become less accessible..

Sooo yeah... I didn't mean to get all sentimental.. In fact, I originally just wanted to tell the sandwich story... But I had to share my experience of this delicious life that we all take for granted... As things get harder and harder for me.. I have to continue to tell myself that we live for the little moments.. The moments that only last for a few seconds at a time.. The moments that our sub-conscious' will forever cherish, yet our mouths rarely speak of.. If we took a snapshot of every smile and laugh we cracked.. We'd have a montage of what looks like a perfect life.. And life is not perfect... And I'm glad it's not.. Because if it was.. I wouldn't know what it feels like to climb out of darkness and see light.. I wouldn't know what it feels like to fall and rise again.. Only in experiencing the worst can we truly capture the essence of what it feels like to be the best..

So as I move forward in this journey alone.. I look forward to the fellowship that I see amongst others.. I look forward to what won't be.. what could be.. And all of the unknown...

(Wow.. that was some good music I was listening to during that walk around the shopping center, lol)Oh, I forgot to mention, the slow-mo of the eye catching gaze between me and the girl at Aldo was probably the most epic moment of all... Made me smile for a moment.. About 5'4" olive complexioned brunette, with long boots, skinny jeans, and a ruffled, short-sleeved blouse.. She had a short boy-haircut which I normally hate.. But damn!! She pulled it off!! Hot damn!! Ok.. I totally ruined the flow and mood of the entire blog entry.. But hey, whatever.. I started off the thing with a bit of humor so I can end it with some hot chick! Alright, non-existent readers.. I'm outta here.. Til next time..

-Observing You

Yeah.. I guess I asked for it...

Damn it... Ok.. So it's been a little over a month since my last post... Things have happened since.. And things have not happened since as well... So yeah, there's been more delays on opening this restaurant and I'm so sick and tired of waiting.. My parents are freakin stressed the hell out all the time and it's trickling down to me and it gets on my damn nerves.. They're pissed off half the time and the people we hired are dishonest, sleazy, con-artists.. Fuck all of them.. They can all go suck a dick for all I care... I'm sorry.. I'm usually not this negative, but these last few months have been rough..

Wondering what has happened since the last time I wrote? Well... Here's a little bit of insight.. I went to Portland again, surprise!! It was a great trip, extremely eventful and Abram was a great host as always. I had the same room and we partied like it was 1999 3 nights in a row.. Abram is great, the last two nights I was dead tired and he didn't mind just drinking and shootin the shit during reruns of "The Office". We get along so well, and I'm so fortunate that he's a friend of mine. Visiting Portland is partially awesome just because he just doesn't care what we do, whether it's kickin it and eating burgers, drinking coffee or hittin up bars and clubs and going up to random girls. And Abram is doing a lot of the approaching now.. I've taken a huge backseat from what I used to be like..

Well.. That kinda leads up to a new story.. Portland again.. So weird.. Maybe it's just luck of the draw.. So the second night I was in Portland, Abram and I went to a club called "Society" which was not even our original plan.. We had first planned to hit up a club called 915 and it was closed for some reason. So we walked down about another block and we came across Society. There's a doorman standing right in front the club and I ask him what the place was. And he responded by telling me that it was s bar and a club. I'm thinking "Cool, let's just start with this place". So Abram and I get in, and it's still pretty slow. Maybe about 15 people inside, few girls, few fellas, there's curtains and a lot of red tones and several flat screen television on the main floor where the bar is.. Abram and I go inside and order our first drink.. The bartender made our vodka sodas pretty damn weak.. So we decide to go for beers and shots for the rest of the night.. The night goes on for a while and then we hit up the dance floor...

I'm dancing around on the floor and then Abram tries to get my attention and says "Hey man, I think those girls are checking you out, man!" And I just shake my head and brush it off.. I didn't believe him.. And he still insists that these girls were checking me out.. I don't normally think any girl is just looking at me.. And I never try to jump the gun and misinterpret a look.. So I was pretty set on ignoring these girls.. Abram then suggest going up to them and I tell him that I'm for it, and I'll follow his lead.. Abram goes straight up to one of the girls and asks her "Hey, were you looking at my friend??" Lol!! I can't believe he just asked her that!! REALLY???? THAT STRAIGHT UP??? I was a little mortified, lol.. But Abram was drunk and absolutely fearless.. In fact he had a smile on his face the whole time he was doing it.. He was definitely in a good mood.. The girl he asked immediately starts shaking her head.. And I'm like "Aaaah, man!! You shouldn't have asked her that!!" And Abram just laughs and shrugs... We go back to the other side of the dance floor and I'm poppin and lockin and having a great time.. About 5 minutes pass and Abram nudges me again.. He says "Hey man, it's those girls again! I think they're offering you a drink!" And I'm like "Nooo no no... They're not, man.. Trust me" And I look over for a moment and there they are... All waving me over to grab a shot... I'm stunned at this point.. And I go ahead and take the drink with them.. At this point I realize that one of the girls was actually looking at me.. Abram had just went up to the wrong one.. But he had the right idea.. I gave him crap for having the balls to go up to them and it ultimately ended up leading me to get a number at the end of the night... Abram was the man.. I was the puss.. I should have known better... So yeah.. I get the number, and in two days go out on a date with a 5'1" Dark-haired, petite little girl named Kim. Kim is a recent divorcée with a daughter..

I'm not going to go into too much detail about the date. But I'll tell you that it was long, there was a shitload of talking, and I was tired and partially hung over.. And finally.. No, I didn't get laid.. Turns out she's a nice girl, looking for a serious boyfriend...

So here goes my dilemma.. Once I got back to Cali, I decided to text her and keep in touch with her.. I mean.. What the hell. I don't know anyone out here and I don't want to bother all my buddies with too many text messages.. So, I'd rather have a text message gal friend.. So I text her, we flirt, she starts texting me on a daily basis and vice versa.. Eventually she starts saying things like "I miss you" and "I really wish you were here with me"... And then she reveals that she might come to the area for a wedding.. And I'm thinking that this is a golden opportunity for me to get what I didn't the last time.. I know what you're thinking.. I'm bad.. Not nice.. But seriously.. If you were in my position and have kinda given up on the idea of finding the right person, you start looking at life and the options with someone in a completely different way... Sex becomes paramount.. Relationships... Not so much... So, anyway, she ends up canceling because other things came up and she can't make it that weekend.. So whatever.. But we continue to keep in touch and then she wants to start moving our conversations over to the phone eventually.. And then she starts alluding to more sexual things... She asks me personal questions about how "I like it" and if I groom in my private area and things of that nature, lol.. And this gets me going, but then she always screws things up by saying "I knew you were different from other guys.. You're really sweet.. You have a nice voice.. I can tell you're a good guy.."

*ARRRGHHH!!!* CONSCIOUS KICKING IN!! SERIOUSLY!!

So now she's talking about how she loved the fact that her having a child never bothered me.. WELL HELLO!! It didn't bother me because I never intended on being serious and becoming some type of step father!! And now she's talking about how she's going to set up another week to come out near the bay area to visit some friends and have me come and see her.. Or maybe even visiting her and staying at her place... And this might sound sorta bad.. But I don't even want it that bad.. I just needed something to feed my brain, and keep me stimulated, flirtation through text is fun.. And quite honestly, I don't even feel like we have that much chemistry.. But somehow I think she feels that we do... I can tell that we'd probably have a ton of sexual chemistry.. We're attracted to one another and that's about the extent of it.. But why should I complain?? I'm a true dickhead!! I respond to her by saying "Miss you too" and bullshit like that! WTF... I was so set on just letting this shit take its course and end up sleeping with her a time or maybe even two.. But now I don't think I can move forward with it... I'm confused.. I'm thinking of slowly letting this one go.. Or even maybe kinda partially telling her the truth.. Or I could go with the "I don't think I can do long distance". And the other part of me doesn't want to eventually fall for a girl that I supposedly just wanted to sleep with in the first place.. I mean.. I can talk all the shit I want.. But the truth is.. I'm vulnerable just like any other human being.. I've been single for a while now, aside from random hook-ups.. I could potentially settle for someone who is not right for me...

I'm going to fiddle with my thoughts for a while.. I really do hope I make the right decision for her sake and for my own sake.. Let's all hope that I do... Again.. to all of you non-existent readers.. Farewell til my next Ramble on life..

-Observing You

Has it really been that long??

So, I guess it's been a while since I've visited my own blog. You know, when I first started this thing, I had all these thoughts about how I would project all my ideas onto this little blog, and everyone would be like "Whoa, this guy is funny, smart and to the point". Or some bullshit like that. Haha, that never happened. I think I told one person about the blog. And I'm sure he's even forgot that I have one.

So, what am I going to do? I'm just going to use this as a journal. Because with nobody knowing about my blog, I'm essentially talking to myself.

Today is December 29th, 2010. There's only two days left of this year. What has happened? Well, I moved from Reno Nevada to Fairfield, CA. The reason was to help my parents open this restaurant in Napa and that project has been delayed big time because we had all sorts of problems obtaining a building permit. But it's finally under way, so hopefully I'll be employed by sometime next month. Alright, that's all boring bullshit.

So, I'm a little buzzed. I feel kinda nice. I'm not drunk, so I can still type. YAY! And who knows I'll probably abandon this blog after tonight anyway. So fuck it.

This year has been good its own ways. I quit smoking, and I've been clean since March (with the exception of June when I went to Vegas) But since I've been back, I've quit cold turkey. Even when I'm partying. Don't get me wrong, I still get tempted for a split second at times, but I get over it fairly quick. I've been working out for a while too, I started at 24 hour fitness sometime in March, joined a program at Crossfit after that, tried something called Crunch Cardio, got up to 6 miles in my runs and then I took a fat break in October and November and got a bit soft again. Now I'm almost complete with the first month of P90X. It's a pretty good program and it's pretty much the only thing I have going for me so far.

I'm unemployed, bored, depressed, angry, and I get a slight jolt of excitement from my P90X work-outs. The days I miss, I feel like the biggest loser in the world because I'm not even making any money right now. I must admit that I've been the most positive this year out of all the previous years because I made a lot of good changes in my life, but now I don't have a car and I'm waiting for employment again. I'm 30 years old and I feel like the biggest piece of shit for the most part. I pray, but I feel like I'm the biggest reject when it comes to that stuff. I do it because somehow I feel like I'm hanging by a string spiritually and that might the only thing the prevents me from completely losing it.

I still don't have a girlfriend, I've hooked up with a few girls and even turned down a few throughout the year. Nice girls who were genuinely interested didn't get a pursuit from me because of the fact that I couldn't find much in common with them. But don't worry, I didn't take advantage of them. I didn't sleep with them and then throw them away, because that would be wrong. Although, if they did throw themselves at me, I probably wouldn't decline. The last time I slept with a girl was in September and it was during a trip to Portland. It was a some random girl that I met at a strip club of all places. I normally don't like those places, but Portland, OR doesn't have much of a nightlife so my friend and I decided to just check out a strip club the night before I headed back home. There were two girls there, one white and one Asian. The white girl's name is Brettney (Yes.. i know strange spelling) and she was there to apply for a job. The Asian one is Linda. I know you're thinking, wow, those are some real winners, right? Whatever, don't judge me.

So my bud (We'll call him Abram) and I start talking to these two girls because there wasn't any management around for them to talk to. So they decided to just hang out and watch the other girls go to work. So we just end up talking, I'm pulling out 1 dollar bills and tipping the dancers, Abram is doing the same thing. We're barely even looking at the dancers, mainly just mingling with the two girls. And finally the place is about to close. They announce it, and that's our cue to leave. We went there by cab, and we needed a ride back. Brettney offers us a ride back to the hotel and we gladly accept. We drop by a 7 eleven, grab a 6 pack of beer and a 6 pack of that crap called Mike's Hard Lemonade for the girls. We get to the room and the girls think it's so awesome that we're staying at a mini suite. I can tell.. These girls haven't ever been outside of Portland or Vancouver. So of course Abram and I ask Brettney to give us a sample of what kind of dances she'll be doing at the club. And this girl is completely shy about doing anything. So she takes a chug of her water bottle filled with some cheap Vodka. And she's ready to go. She's giving us mild lap dances and it's getting kind of boring. This goes on for about 30 minutes or so.

OMG... I just want the girls to leave at this point. What kind of girl sticks around and does lap dances for 30 minutes and doesn't take off a single item of clothing. This was really starting to suck for me and I was so tired. I needed to catch a flight in the morning. But now Brettney and Linda want to go to the balcony and smoke a cigarette. I stay inside for a moment, so I don't get tempted to smoke. Finally I go outside and grab Brettney and tell her to come inside where it's warmer. She comes inside and she stumbles onto the bed, and we're laughing about something. I can't remember what, and we're laying in bed, facing one another and we instantly start making out. I remember her saying "I thought you were cute, that's why I offered you a ride back, but I don't normally do this"... I'm thinking "Uh... So if you're attracted to someone, you just go to a hotel with them?? That really conceals the fact that you're promiscuous" Whatever, at this point, I'm really horny. So we get underneath the sheets and we start messing around. And then each item of clothing just comes off with ease. I was surprised that she didn't have a tramp stamp. Or any tattoos for that matter. I just figure strippers would just come with that stuff, lol. But then again, she wasn't a stripper, she was just an aspiring one, and like I said earlier, she doesn't have the talent for it.

As all this is happening, I'm trying to remember in the back of my head whether I remembered to bring condoms or not. I went directly to my luggage and I found a few rubbers from my previous Las Vegas trip that I didn't have a chance to use. So it slipped one on, and she did show intent to practice safe sex because she asked me if I had one before we commenced. And at that point, it went on and on and one... I didn't want it to go for long.. Really.. I didn't.. I wanted to make it fast and get on with it.. But I don't know what it is.. Maybe it's because I watch too much porn.. I couldn't finish. Abram and Linda walk in from the balcony while me and Brettney are going at it furiously. I tried keeping it somewhat quiet, but she was squealing quite a bit. So Abram and Linda head over to the bathroom to hang out, they come outside to check every so often to see if we're finished... We're not.. We keep going and finally after all the effort, I achieve the goal.. I get up from bed, put on my boxers and Brettney passes out almost immediately, completely naked and uncovered. I take the top sheet and cover her up.

At this point, I have to piss like a racehorse, so I walk over to the bathroom and I'm about to knock and tell Abram and Linda that the coast is clear. But right before I'm about to do this, I hear a slight "Boonka Boonka boonka" At this point.. I have an idea of what's going on.. Because there certainly wasn't any talking involved. A few minutes pass and Abram and Linda are done taking care of business. I get inside, drain the snake and now Linda needs to get going. Brettney was the driver, completely passed out. And now Linda says "I have to go home immediately, I have to take my children to school." I'm thinking "What the fuck!!" OMG.. Abram just pounded a mother with children in school... A woman in a rocky marriage.. with a man who doesn't appreciate her.. The kind of women that are most likely to cheat... The kind of women that will gladly take a pounding from a younger man who will pay attention to her for one evening and make her feel beautiful.. Or cheap.. Whatever you would consider it. So now we're wondering what the hell we're going to do. It's almost 6 in the morning. So finally we told her to just take the car, take her kids to school and then come back and pick up Brettney. She agrees to do so. And I'm just laying in bed at this time wondering what the hell I'm going to do. Two hours have passed and Linda has not come back. I'm freaking out. Why you might ask? Well.. I left out one minor detail. Abram's parents own the hotel property.. Yes.. And the last thing I want to do escort an aspiring stripper downstairs to the front of the lobby with the chance of Abram's parents seeing me... They think I'm a nice boy.. Which I am most of the time... But last night was unexpected.. And no matter how pretty a girl is.. Waking up with smeared make-up and messy hair can make any girl look cheap... And of course the obvious.. They'll know what just took place on their property.

So I start nudging Brettney, telling her to wake-up. She just shrugs it off and tells me that she wants to sleep. And finally I tell her that Linda took her car. Wow... Her eyes bolted open so quick at that point.. On top of that, her PHONE was in her car as well! What a freakin nightmare!! So I offer my phone to her, she stops and looks at it for a moment. My wallpaper is of my little 2 year old nephew. And I know she's thinking that it's my child and I'm just some scummy asshole who was looking to hook up with a girl during my little trip out to Portland. She gets over it and starts dialing every number that she knows and she can't get a hold of anyone who can pick her up. At this point Abram comes upstairs in his work clothing and offers a ride and she accepts. We escort her downstairs with her hair looking like a mess and all and take a sideway exit. He has a car ready for her, and I open the backseat door for her. I felt like we were trying to hide some celebrity who was being stalked. It was freakin nuts. So we drive out, way past where we thought she might live, and finally drop her off.

At this point, Abram and I still can't believe what just happened. We haven't had any sleep. We both decide that we should eat something before I went back to the room. We went to IHOP, dropped a fat turd in their stalls and consumed a few pancakes. We barely even spoke during our meal. We were both so exhausted because over 24 hours have passed and neither one of us got any sleep at all. We did crack a few jokes about what happened, but that was about it. I get to my room, pack up and Abram drops me off at the airport and I'm feeling like the living dead, waiting for my flight. Everything is going in slow motion. Even a cup of coffee didn't do anything. I get on the plane, I doze off for a few seconds at a time and then finally get back to Reno. I take a cab back home and drive to McDonalds, eat a buttload of grease and finally fall asleep while I try to watch a few episodes of Dexter. I woke up the next afternoon. I had about 15 hours of sleep. I don't think I've ever slept that long in my life. I barely sleep as it is.

About a week after my flight back to Reno, Abram and I discuss what happened. We laugh, talk about the details and it's hilarious every single time.

Ok.. That was totally not planned.. I didn't intend on talking about my random hook-up with a girl. But that memory is still so fresh. And I'm glad I actually documented it. Ha... Well, stupid blog, journal, whatever you might want to call it. I'm glad I finally wrote something in it. Hopefully I'll just start rattling off about something else next time as well. OK, I'm not tired yet, but I'm sick of typing now. So I think I'll go check out another episode of 30 Rock on Netflix. Peace out, people. Oh wait.. I'm talking to myself.. I keep forgetting...

-Observing You

The "Exception" Couple: It doesn't exist...

*Have you ever met the couple that always argues, fights, bickers, and then complain about their relationship?

*Do they show more contempt for each other than two rival gangs?

*Do they appear to be polar opposites and never seem to agree on anything?

*Do they always make you think "What the fuck?? Why are they together??"

*Do you let them squeak by because your relationship is similar to theirs?

*Why are these couples together? Why do they think it will work?

I'll tell you why.. These guys think that they're the exception to the rule.. They think that somehow, or some way they're different from everyone else. And THAT type of thinking will ultimately lead to wasting your entire life away. I will admit that I wasted 7 years because I held onto something that should have ended 6 years earlier than it took place.

Here are a few myths and quotes that must be crushed immediately!!

*Opposites Attract*
Boy, has this concept been taken out of context. This is the biggest bullshit I've ever heard. People will use this phrase to death to justify why they took a chance in a relationship. But trust me, IT IS BULLSHIT!

If you're clean and she's a slob, it won't work! If she wants kids and you don't, it won't work! If you're allergic to cats and she has 3 of them, it won't work! If she wants to live on the countryside with a beautiful view of the lake and you want to live on the top floor of a Manhattan penthouse, it won't work! Your common goals and outlook on life must be consistent with each other, or it won't work!

Now.. one might wonder.. "What did they mean, when they said 'Opposites Attract'?"

Ok.. Well, this rule does work, when it is used in the right context..

For Example:

*If you're an extrovert and she's an introvert, you can very well balance each other out. One may like to talk, and the other one may love to listen.

*If one loves the sound of rock music and the other likes the sound of jazz.. You may be able to find some harmony in between.

*If one loves to read and the other one loves TV, she can read with the light on while he dozes off to Conan O'brien. And in the morning they can discuss their amusement of each thing they've learned from their source of entertainment.

These things can make the relationship more interesting, because you're constantly learning things about each other, and realize, these opposite things are what makes the person so beautiful in your eyes.

But hot topics like, living in the city or the suburbs, the cleanliness of the house, wanting children or not, spending or saving; these are the exact subjects people bicker about every single day until it rolls on top of another nuisance and another... and another.. until it just turns into a pile of dirty laundry that you threw on the backburner for a year because you still haven't agreed on anything. Or maybe you did agree on something, but you sacrificed your own happiness in order to please your significant other.. (Which will end up haunting you later anyway)

It is a romanticized idea to think that you're the actual couple who can get through this mess.. If you're that couple that everyone thinks should split.. DO IT!! Do yourself and the other person a favor and SPLIT THE FUCK UP!! He/She won't agree with you at first, but if they're fairly level-headed, they will see that it happened for the best later on... If they never realize it should have ended, then they're probably psychotic and have no self-esteem.. Which you'd wanna get rid of immediately anyway...

If you ever question why you're so unhappy and all the other couples are happy, then you really need to SPLIT THE FUCK UP! Because, most couples are pretty fucked up, and for you to think yours is the worst, then he/she must be really making your life miserable...

Now, if you choose to hold onto this miserable thing that you call a "relationship", then be ready to accept the consequences. Here are the following scenarios:

1. You will cheat on her.
2. She will cheat on you.
3. You will leave her for another woman.
4. She will leave you for another man.
5. She will leave you for another woman.
6. He will become a raging alcoholic and beat you.
7. She will become a raging coke addict and cut off your dick.

Ok ok... I was just being a smart ass towards the last few but yeah.. As I was saying...

8. You will both end up saying things to each other that shouldn't be said.. And you will enter a verbally or physically abusive relationship..

Now for my next point... You might ask....

"How do I know if I fit this criteria? And where do I seek advice?"

***ASK RELIABLE FRIENDS*** I EMPHASIZE "RELIABLE"!!!!


*DO NOT ask a friend who is a pussy pushover and always ends up getting the shaft in relationships. He/she will tell you to take the abuse because they think their own relationship is working because they never stand up for themselves.

*DO NOT ask a friend who is in a bad relationship at the moment. There's a reason why they're still in a bad relationship.

*DO NOT ask a friend who constantly cheats on their significant other. He/she will just encourage you to look elsewhere to fulfill your needs.

*DO NOT ask a possessive, jealous, paranoid jackass/bitch. He/she will tell you to put this person in check and to show that person who is boss... Which only develops a bigger power struggle.

*DO NOT ask a friend who always ends up getting hurt. He/she is a hopeless romantic who thinks that some day their asshole/bitch cheating significant other will change one day. They're delusional and pathetic.

YES! Ask your level-headed, rational friend who looks at things in a practical and realistic manner. You may only have one of these friends.. But look long and hard before you pick this person.. Because ultimately, it is only their opinion that might remotely make any sense at all..

YES! Ask your friend who is in a long term, happy relationship. Ask him/her what is it about the other person that makes them so damn happy? You'll be surprised at how empty your own relationship is. (Avoid asking brand new couples.. as they are still experiencing the Honeymoon phase..)

YES! Ask your friend who has never bull-shitted you! He/she has always told you how it is... And if this person has been telling you for a while that you're with the wrong person.. Maybe it's time that you listen...

In closing...


Life is too damn short to be with the wrong person... And when you cut yourself short by thinking that there isn't someone else that can make you happier or that you don't deserve happiness.. You're cutting yourself short of many joys in life... It doesn't make sense that he used to say sweet things to you and now he can barely cough up a decent compliment.. It doesn't make sense that she used to fix herself up just to impress you and now she doesn't even wanna leave the house because she doesn't wanna get out of her sweats... It doesn't make sense that you two were once madly in love and now you can barely stand to see each other in the morning... None of this makes sense.. The only thing that makes sense is.. YOU DON'T DESERVE THIS SHIT!! NEITHER ONE OF YOU DO.... And it's time to end it...

Please don't get it twisted. All relationships have tiny, petty arguments and we should all be open to compromise. But if there's a constant failure in compromise. And a constant need to compromise.. Then there's something missing in this equation... People say silly shit like "Nobody said it was going to be easy", but don't listen to those dumb asses.. my answer to that is "But it shouldn't be this fucking hard either"...

So, make a choice, folks.. And I encourage you to learn from your own previous mistakes in relationships.. If there's one consistent thing that all your partners have complained about.. It's time to consider correcting whatever it is that's causing the same complaints.. You can't fix the last fuck up.. But you can certainly prevent the next one from happening.. And also.. Remember the things that pissed you off the most about the previous person.. And remember to NEVER go with another person with the same personality flaws...

Nothing good comes out of staying in a bad relationship... EVER!! And WAKE THE FUCK UP!! You're not special! Your relationship is not special! AND YOU!! YOU!! YOU!! YOU ARE NOT THE FUCKING EXCEPTION TO THE RULE!!

-Observing You

The Constant Boaster: We don't buy your B.S.

The Conquest Bullshitter

Yeah, you know him. You either work with him or you have the displeasure of being his friend. Wow, where do I begin???

Let's break down his silly little lies about conquests.

1. "I've slept with over 50 girls, I lost count a long time ago, man!"
First of all.. Why would you brag about your multiple encounters with STDs? And what kind of bimbo would sleep with a moron like you? Chances are if their standards were that low, then they're probably carrying something. So you're actually just a disgusting piece of shit tooting your own horn about being the prime example of all the diseases we learned about in sex ed.
Secondly, I think you're full of shit. Yeah, maybe you have partners in the double digits, but really??? C'mon man.. Any guy who regularly picks up on girls will see right through your lies because a real ladies' man keeps it somewhat discrete in order to continue his streak. Furthermore, who is a witness to your so-called "hook-ups"? Or maybe you're the guy who walks out of a bar with a drunk girl, turns around and winks at your buddies, signaling that you have the cat in the bag.. Which also makes you look like a sleazy rapist who throws roofies in cocktails..

2. "This is how you pick up girls..." (Blah blah blah....)
Oh shit.. I can't stand it.. I make one honest statement about striking out with one girl because she just wasn't interested, plain and simple.. and now this fucking moron wants to act like Dr. Love... Fuck, someone, PLLLEEEASSEE save me!!! Here it goes.. And it starts like this "You just gotta be an asshole..." Been there, done that, dickwad, and it wasn't even intentional, I was just a selfish prick in some relationships, and those ultimately ended! And can you believe that it wasn't even a technique?? And pppuuuulllllleaasse, I've seen your desperate ass get clingy, touchy and over-zealous every single time a half way decent girl pops up! For fucks sake, practice what you preach or shut the fuck up! And the only time I see you start acting like an asshole in front of them is when they shoot you down! You act like a bitter little bitch because you can't take the heat!! Trust me.. when they create distance, that means they're repulsed by your very presence!! So get your hands off her shoulder and move the fuck on!!

3. "Ooooohhh, hey look, I'll be right back, I'm going to say wassup to my girl, Sapphire Candy, she's a local stripper.. I know all the strippers in town!!"
Now.. You don't even need me to get into how pathetic this is.. Really??? Are you fucking kidding me???? First of all, that's gotta be the stupidest and most pathetic thing to brag about.. Do you honestly think that people are going to think that strippers are magically attracted to you?? And it's sad how you memorize all their stage names.. That means you're a regular at the local strip joint and you blow all your money on 3 hours worth of teasing, only to end up going home ALONE with blueballs, jacking off to your 1980's porn collection that you got for $1 a piece at your local garage sale!
Secondly, why the hell would you take pride in knowing so many of these girls? It's like bragging about having the largest collection of STDs! You really want to know a massive quantity of girls who spend all their money on supporting their blow habit? Or wait.. you only meet the ones who are paying their way through college, right? And yes.. it's even more pathetic that you go to these places ALONE!! I'd be lying if I said I haven't gone to these joints, but they're usually for bachelor parties or birthday parties, and usually I'm only buying dances for friends.. But I did talk to one girl who was very honest, she said she's nicest to the loneliest, most desperate, frequent, money spending suckers who know them by name... And you.. my friend.. wait... I take that back.. You're NOT my friend.. you ARE this pathetic, lonely, individual...

I think this sums up this guy for the most part.
Some of his other lies include:


"I had over 30 shots in a single night": Be careful, loser, I may call you out on your bullshit one night, and watch you get alcohol poisoning on your 15th shot....

"I've been in over 200 fights, and never lost": Be careful fuckface, I may piss off the wrong guy on your behalf and watch you get KNOCKED THE FUCK OUT for the "first" time in your life.

"I've never been in love because girls don't mean shit to me": Be careful, shithead, I just may pay a girl to hit on you all night and ask you to elope towards the end, just to watch you say "Yes" and her to respond "I'm just fuckin with you, Douchebag".


"I get free drinks all the time!": Unfortunately.. This one might be true because you're a CHEAP ASS BITCH!! But be careful, bitch.. because one night, I may tell everyone how cheap you are and how you mooch off everyone, just so we can ask you to buy us drinks and remind you of all the times we got you, and I'm sure we won't get any drinks out of you... But being exposed for being cheap will ruin your reputation forever.. not that you haven't already ruined it.. NOBODY wants to be known as the cheap guy, NOBODY!

In closing, I'd like to apologize on my own behalf for cursing so much, but in a civilized world where you have to actually deal with these people, you don't always get an opportunity to verbalize everything you feel openly. I sounded like an ass and wasn't eloquent with my choice of words.. but frankly, when it comes to this subject, I just don't give a shit!! =) If this is your friend... I'm sorry, consider having a serious talk with him or cutting him off eventually.. If this is your co-worker.. I lament the 40 excruciating hours a week you must deal with him, but consider a new job or try to get him fired.. and yes.. I mean it.... If this is YOU.. You probably don't even know it.. But if you ever catch yourself saying anything remotely close to the above phrases or statements in quotes.. Well.. Back the fuck up and remember that my description and response is what most other people are thinking in the back of their head.. And remember.. It's never too late to change... Good luck, fuckface... Hope your journey is one of many realizations and epiphanies...

-Observing You....